Yesterday I took my daughter to soccer practice/match and next to us were the parents of one of the kids on the other team. The dad seemed extremely passionate. The family was uniformed in the same colored shirt and he even had black stripes under his eyes like football players do to block the sun. I overheard the dad say to the mom… “Can you go talk to him and tell him to listen to his coach?” Nothing wrong with that, right? Well, it was in the tone he said it and then proceeded to tell the mom that if she didn’t do it he was going to “rip” the kid off the field. Mind you the kid is 4 maybe 5 playing a team sport. Most kids this age are not very focused and they kind of do their own thing at times. It’s normal behavior. His kid was playing on the field and doing as good as a 4 year old can be expected to do. Heck my little girl didn’t even play. Last week she didn’t get on the field and this week she actually sat with her team, but didn’t do much more. Is it frustrating that I’m paying money for her to be there and not participate at times…YES! But, I will never talk to my child in a degrading way. I will continue to encourage her until she’s ready to join her team. Which thankfully this week she did and she even practiced with them a little when last week was a total wash. Kids are so unpredictable, but the very best thing you can do for a child is to be patient and give them some understanding.
This kind of behavior went on for the hour we were there. He even went as far as telling his wife to tell his son to hold his water a certain way because he was holding it like a girl. Are you freaking kidding me??? The kid is 4 maybe 5. He shouldn’t be concerned with the way he is holding a water bottle. I mean is there really a way to hold it like a girl or boy?? SMH! The entire practice he was bashing his kid talking about how disappointed he was in him all while his younger daughter sat there and listened to all of it. It was so heartbreaking listening to the way he talked to his wife and the way he talked about his kid.
I can see this child growing up being extremely insecure because there doesn’t seem to be anything he can do that will make his dad proud of him. I could see this kid being a bully because of the way his dad bullies him. I could see this kid coming to school and harming a bunch of kids because of the anger he holds inside due to his dad. I could totally be wrong and I pray that I am.
We shape kids into what they become. If we show them love, respect, understanding that’s the way they will treat others. If we show them anger, resentment, talk to them in a tone that brings down their spirits then that’s exactly the behavior they will display to others. They learn from us, they are constantly watching us and mimicking us. They become like the people around them. Now I’m not saying that kids should not be disciplined. I strongly believe that you shouldn’t be your kids friend you should be their parent and be an adult that leads them to a better chance at being successful in life. What I’m saying is that just like adults, kids need some grace. They need some compassion and understanding and we can’t expect a young child to act like an adult they just can’t.
Talking the way that dad was talking about his 4 year old son was just so awful and it’s stuck with me enough to write about it. I wonder if that’s how he was raised and he’s now passing it on to his son. Taking out frustrations on a 4 year old certainly shows that he has some issues he has to work on for himself. He’s definitely not a happy person and I hope this man figures it out so he can be happier, he can have a better relationship with his wife (it seemed to need a lot of help) and so that he can have a better relationship with his kids and those around him.